Your Reality is Negotiable

Have you ever heard someone say something limiting about himself or herself that just sounds ridiculous and shortsighted?

“I wish I could get in shape, but I don’t have the time.”

“I’d love to travel more, but it’s too expensive.”

“I want to get out of debt but I don’t make enough money.”

To the person making the statement, these thoughts might seem completely true. Some people really think they don’t have time to get in shape, or that travel is cost prohibitive unless you’re rich, or that debt-free living is only for people who make a certain amount of money.

To others, these are obviously just weak excuses. Maybe you read the above and knew better.

But no matter who you are, and how easily you can recognize the weak excuses of others, you’re never without your own self-limiting beliefs. Some of your beliefs probably even seem like silly excuses or uninformed points of view to others who have more informed views of the subjects than you.

We all live in our own realities.

Where do these self-imposed limits and beliefs come from?

What we believe is possible for ourselves, who we can be, what we can achieve, what we deserve, is largely determined by how we were raised, who we spend time with, and the community we’re surrounded by.

Maybe you’ve heard this quote from Jim Rohn:

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Think about who you spend time with the most. Is how you see yourself influenced by what those people believe and what they have achieved and aspire to?

Now think about your limiting beliefs.

What do you accept as being out of reach in your life?

How do the people you spend time with contribute to those beliefs?

It’s not just your closest friends who influence how you see yourself and what you accept as reality. Your surroundings, your media influences and the status quo you’re surrounded by all have a big impact as well.

If you’re surrounded by unhappy, out of shape, in-debt people, whether they’re close friends or simply your community or co-workers, guess what you’re likely to be as well?

Make a Breakthrough

Here are two ways to make a breakthrough in your life.

Being surrounded by people who have broader, more enlightened and ambitious views of themselves and life is one way to change your own reality.

Another way is to look yourself in the eye, admit that you’re capable of much more than you’ve accepted for yourself and force yourself into a period of discomfort. If you’re comfortable, you’re not growing. To change your life, you have to embrace being uncomfortable regularly.

The good news is, we’re all capable of these voluntary adjustments of reality. These moments of clarity are opportunities and gifts, but they shouldn’t be relied on for all the progress you hope to make in your life.

You have to use these moments of clarity to make changes that will give your not-so-bold self a safety net. While you’re ready to change your life, you should devote part of that energy to tackling your challenges head-on, but you should also use some of that energy to change your surroundings and influences.

The trick is to upgrade your surroundings so you’ll be better off the next time you find yourself accepting your surroundings as your reality.

Make new friends, change jobs, move to a new place, start reading new books or blogs, find a mentor, stop watching so much junk TV, stop hanging out with the negative nellies in your life, and start doing more things that make you come alive.

Try creating a formal support group or mastermind group with people who are also experiencing a moment of clarity. Bond together in pursuit of a common goal: to mold your reality as you want it to be.

It’s true, you might be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and you’re likely to live a life much like your colleagues and people in your community. The good news is that you can change your surroundings.

Stop saying “gee I wish I could…

Why can’t you?

Your reality is negotiable.

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Hi, I’m Corbett Barr. I’ve been writing here since 2009. Join my email list for new articles about supporting yourself doing something you love: